Currently Listening Talk to La Bomb By Brazilian Girls see related

I keep staring at the phone. I keep expecting a response, reconcilliation, understanding...forgiveness...--no, I did nothing wrong. Yet there's no one else around to take this blame.

I can't satisfy any of you! I can't make any of you happy and I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I try so hard. I really do. I try to be who you want, who you dream about, who you think you need, but I fall short. I fail every single time. I fail at being pretty, eloquent, confident, glorious, beautiful...I'm rust. I'm too real. Too far from the better side of the specturm and sticks to talkingin fragments. I'm destructive...frustrating...
But, NONE OF YOU ARE WILLING TO STICK AROUND AND TRY AS HARD FOR ME AS I DID FOR YOU. No one tries to console me and understand my problems...but I'm always here for you when you need me...where are you when I need you?

I've tried so hard for all of you that my mind and heart are forever disconnected with confusion...with distrust for others...with...apprehension for anything. You all...you were just around long enough to get what you needed and then you runaway. Like I'm diseased or too confusing. If you LISTENED you'd see that I'm telling it LOUD AND CLEAR. You just don't want to understand and that makes you pitiful. Runaway. Go ahead, I'm used to it. Leave the mess in me and leave the pieces of my heart for me to clean up.

None of this is my fault, but when you run away from me and the blame, no one else is around to take it. But me. Don't worry though. Don't even pretend to. I can handle it. I'll take it on just like I took on your problem and helped you. I'm just contagious with blame. Just contagious with hope that one day someone will give a shit about me, the way I want them to.